You can ask yourself simple questions such as:
Do they keep their word to themselves?
Do they keep their word to other people?
If they don’t keep their word to themselves, what makes you think they will keep it with you? Someone can only give you the intimacy that they have with themselves. It’s a simple truth. If you don’t have compassion for yourself, I cannot expect you to have it for me. If someone doesn’t hold a boundary for themselves, they won’t hold yours.
Do they have a code of honesty?
If someone keeps lying, why would they not lie to you?
Do they have a shadow process?
If someone does not look at their dark side or taking responsibility for their shadow, they are full of violations to happen. They will scape goat you, make you wrong. If they have a shadow process: they tell the truth to you, they have a way of life that includes that into how they read the world. Of course you can have relationships with those without shadow process, but you want to be armed.
Does someone take responsibility? – In shadow process we tend to take responsibility – not perfectly, but the best they can.
Are you taking responsibility?
Do they walk their talk?
Do they show boundaries around empathy? If you are around someone who is so empathic that they collapse into the Victim, they are not going to hold boundaries with you.
Does someone have self-intimacy?
Does someone hold emotional intelligence and an emotional processing they do, or do they only feel selectively?
Do they have self-compassion?
This is an example of the deep self enquiry that you can experience at Embracing Shamanism trainings.